Shawn and I matched on Hinge, the okay-est dating app, in September of 2021. Right away I could tell Shawn was clever, engaging, and had a very calming presence.

After making some questionable dad jokes, he let me know he was, in fact, a dad, and we scheduled our first date for a week or so later. Usually I felt nervous or unwilling to go on Hinge dates as they approached, but I felt very even-keeled and interested on my way to meet Shawn. Despite my "calm demeanor," I spilled gasoline on myself on the way there, and was 15 minutes late as I had to run home and change. I finally arrived and consumed 1.5 beers (my weeknight limit! Fun!) as Shawn and I talked about anything and everything. I don't even remember what I said but I remember feeling so comfortable and peaceful and excited to see him again. We had our second date a few days later and I knew that day that I would fall in love. A few weeks later I was pretty sure we'd get married one day. Despite all well-intended advice to take things slow and see how things went, I met Anna about 6 weeks in, and was absolutely blown away by what an incredible kid she is and how amazing it is to be loved by a child. Shawn and I spent weeknight evenings & weekends together doing our favorite things: buying bespoke coffee beverages, walking Riley, and hanging out with Anna.

In April of 2023, we closed on our house and I realized I would have to live with a boy. We moved in in May and I was so happy our relationship was moving forward and that living with this boy was really fun! In an effort to hit every relational milestone within 45 days, Shawn proposed while we were at the Taylor Swift Eras tour concert in Chicago in June. He managed to surprise me (no easy feat) and I am so unbelievably lucky and grateful to get to spend every day with my best friend.

“I’ve doused myself in gasoline” is a disconcerting text to get right before a first date.

Had I totally misread the situation? Was this person I had felt an instant, vibrant connection with going to ghost me? Our conversation thus far had been so effortlessly fun and intriguing…was I really never going to meet this woman I thought might have the potential to change my life?

When Caitlyn Kelleher did arrive just a few minutes late, freshly laundered and somehow smelling ethanol-free, I knew without a doubt that I was in the presence of my future best friend and wife.

Our first date was ten hours of content packed into two hours, every shared priority and easy laugh made the minutes and seconds feel both incredibly slow and fast at the same time.

I quickly became a Third Ward boy, spending every minute I could with Caitlyn. The chemical intoxication of love had completely taken our brains over and we were utterly mad for each other for months. Walks in nature with our beloved Riley, Purple Door, spin class, making dinner for each other, random weeknights out and weekends in. Everything was novel and exciting and wonderful.

Meanwhile, Anna, then 4 years old at the time, was excited to have this brand new person who would come to the museum and have “car picnics” (this is simply the act of sitting in a car, eating Frozen Yogurt during the winter) with us. When Caitlyn and I sat her down together to have a very long and important talk to explain that we were dating and in love, we were quickly cut off by Anna, who definitively remarked: “yeah, yeah, I already know all that.”

I’m thankful to give and receive the love that is obvious to a child and requires no further explanation. Some might say that the real gasoline spill on that first date was in our hearts, just waiting to be lit up by the other’s flame.